It’s 2:47 am.
I’m awake. Obviously.
I’ve started doing this thing in my sleep where I hum (several times and completely uncontrollably) as I’m falling asleep. Since I’ve had a cough the last few days and have been awake several times in the night to pee…. well, you can imagine how much “mmmm” noises I’ve been making as I’m drifting off each time! As I had woke myself up earlier with coughing and then started humming myself back to sleep, Skyler just reached over, gave my hand a little squeeze and held on.
We didn’t exchange any words, but I knew he was awake for the 45 minutes that I lay in bed trying to fall back asleep too. Eventually, I felt bad for the poor guy having to be awake with me, just because I’ve turned into some little uncontrollable humbug, so I got up so he could fall back asleep.
And then, sitting out here on the couch, I started thinking about how pregnancy doesn’t effect just me. How it effects my husband and my son too. I started thinking about how selfless they have been, especially this last month, and it’s made me so thankful to have them help me along with this pregnancy.
Zeek has become such a little helper. I think I’ve (accidentally) turned him into my almost OCD self. I’ll blow my nose and two minutes later hear the cupboard door close. I’ll look down and realize he snatched up my tissue from beside me and has already thrown it away for me. He helps me tidy up the room, when I can’t bend and reach and pick things up very easily. He has gotten really good at entertaining himself, when he knows I can’t as easily get on the floor and play beside him. Or when I do get on the floor, he’ll grab me a pillow so I can lay my head down on it and be comfortable. He has such a serving and thoughtful heart already. 🙂
Skyler has been utterly amazing since he has been on Christmas break. He normally would go back to work but I told him that I didn’t want him to this time. I told him I (selfishly) wanted him to just stay home and take care of me and take care of Zeek, so that I could just lay on the couch more often. He has. He goes to bed early so that he can wake up early with Zeek and let me sleep in until 10 am. He makes Zeek breakfast and does the dishes. He unloads and reloads the dishwasher. He takes Zeek out and about to play so that I can sleep in as long as I can in a quiet house. Then he gets on the floor with him and wrestles, spins, and plays games. Like taking Zeek on a “Safari Hunt” the other day. He set up all of his stuffed animals randomly through the house. He stuffed Zeek’s toolbelt full of nerf gun bullets, secured it around the little man’s waist, and the two of them crawled around through the house, hunting down the animals and shooting them. I think Zeek actually thought he was on a hunt. His eyes were so wide and alert, seeking out the animals before they saw him.
I sit on the couch in my sweatpants, reading blogs and scrolling facebook while he’s doing all of this. While he’s changed almost every single diaper in the last three weeks. While he’s fed Zeek lunch and put him down for a nap. Then he often naps while Zeek does, so he can catch up on some more of his own sleep. And when he wakes up because he hears Zeek up, and he comes out and see’s me asleep on the couch, he quietly tells Zeek that mommy is sleeping and the two head off on a bike ride.
He took me on a date the other night. To finish Christmas shopping and to eat at the Roadhouse Grill. Two things of which he absolutely hates. But he did it for me.
He has frequently taken Zeek over to the grandparents house lately for hours at a time to give me something that I so desire and need: quiet alone time.
During Zeek’s labor/birth, Skyler was incredible. He was my rock and strength and did exactly what I needed him to do, when I needed him to do it, without me even muttering a word. These last few weeks, he’s done exactly that again and I know labor with this second one won’t be any different. He loves me, serves me and caters to my needs.
I just feel so lucky.
So lucky to have a man that I can stand beside, that loves me with his whole being. That serves me without complaint and without looking for return service. That loves his son and loves spending time with him, being so silly that I feel like I have two toddlers in the house some times. 🙂
So lucky for an awesome family to call my own.
So lucky that this baby will have an incredible father to call his or her own. And an incredible big brother.